the makings of a scary movie

I've spent the majority of my summer having scary movie marathons late into the night with my good hometown friend.  It's great fun.  Up until I have to go home.

One particularly frightening night, my friend was driving me home at about 2am.  The night, by the way, doesn't get much darker than it does 2am.  Desperate to feel safe and contained, we threw ourselves into the most available car in her driveway, which coincidentally was a smelly Jeep storing a broken lawnmower in the back seat.  We fended off our terror with loud pop music and fast driving.

A stop sign quickly approached us and my friend hit the brakes fairly hard.  I didn't mind the harsh driving if it got me to my house faster. But what I did NOT like at ALL was the lawnmower flying up from the behind and slamming into the back of my seat.

I shat myself and screamed explosively for half a second until I realized it wasn't a grody ghost orphan or a nightmarish homicidal pervert.  Just... just a lawnmower.  Right? Right.

Just realized I didn't draw seatbelts. Am I lazy, or dangerous?! YOU decide!!

Lemonade Stand... OFF?

This summer, I am so far unemployed.  I do nothing all day.  I also find that if I have nothing to do, I don't do ANYTHING.  As a part of my nothing-doing, I've created a nest of my personal belongings so I never really have to leave a five-foot radius.  I'm fairly protective of my nest.

Well, today, while brooding inside my air-conditioned nest with the lights off (save for the TV since I don't miss a single episode of Maury), I heard noises outside.  Noises of... youth.  Youth selling lemonade.

Why had they picked MY corner?!  They weren't on my property or anywhere too near my nest, but it was close enough! They were laughing, playing, and comercializing, completely ignorant of their being stalked by yours truly.  Because I'm not normal, I wandered around the house for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. I couldn't just ignore them.  I narrowed my options down to yelling at them like an elderly troll...

or inconspicuously walking my dog past them and donating some chump change to their cause.

I went for the latter (sans-trench coat and sunglasses) and I must admit I have no good explanation for why I was so tense.  It turned out okay.  They gave Wolfgang some love and thanked me for my donation.  Maybe the next generation isn't so doomed, after all...  Hey, if you were self-imprisoned in a house for about forty days (seventy years in unemployed time), you'd be just as strange.

Bacon Bandits

Exam week really took me away from any form of reality that wasn't a word document.

On the last day of exams, my suitemates and I found ourselves done with the last of our papers quite late in the morning.  Though we had the option of just sleeping all day until we moved out, we heard word of something that motivated us to wake up earlier than socially acceptable:

Bacon.

The dining hall was going to serve bacon, and it was worth waking up at 7:30 for it.  Eyes crusty, pants in their most pajama'd state, we strolled into the dining hall like bad-ass demi-gods who needed to feast on some human equivalent to their divine parent's meals of ambrosia and nectar.

It was a good way to break up with the dining hall after our problematic year-long relationship.  We'll probably make up again in a couple months after my summer flings with various Coney Islands get tiresome.

Neglect!

As you've probably noticed or maybe haven't, I've been neglecting my blog lately.  This is due to many reasons, including but not limited to final exams and road trips and family obligations.  Blogging for hours on end would have been impolite, inconvenient, or both.

I'll get back on it soonsiiieees.

Garter Snakes

I brake for garter snakes.

Driving up north last year, I stopped the car because a big one was basking in the middle of the road.  That part is understandable - who wants to run over a sleepy snake? That's just rude.  But I did manage to park the car and get out and follow it until it escaped into the roots of a tree.

It doesn't matter what I'm doing or where I'm at.  If I see one, I will stop whatever I'm doing and attempt to snatch it.  No matter how mature I've grown, the sight of snake plunges me into child mode where my only goal is to GIT IT!!!  Just last weekend, as I get out of the car in my Easter-Sunday Best, I noticed a slithering motion in the patch of grass next to where we parked.  I was on the ground before I even realized what it was.

These occasions of snake sighting are usually few and far between, but I have seen two in the past week!  While most superstitious people would find this as a bad omen, to me, this is the best of luck! I have less than five days until summer break and the past few weekends have been gorgeous and I've been blessed by the presence of some rather adorable sneaky-snakes.  

This summer's gonna be good.  I can feel it in the air when I flick out my lil forked tongue.

raptor ate my homework

what's the likelihood that several velociraptors will manifest, get up to the 4th floor of a building, break into a room, and destroy a laptop with a bunch of unfinished papers saved on it?

I guess I'll try my luck.

ajar

My friends and I will never get enough of certain jokes. Some make no sense, and some make perfect sense but would not be funny to anybody else.

One that I'm compelled to draw:

You see, anything that's ajar could actually BE A JAR at any given moment! Your doors, your drawers, your windows and your washing machines! They could all be a jar at this VERY MOMENT!

And, scene.