This summer, I am so far unemployed. I do nothing all day. I also find that if I have nothing to do, I don't do ANYTHING. As a part of my nothing-doing, I've created a nest of my personal belongings so I never really have to leave a five-foot radius. I'm fairly protective of my nest.
Well, today, while brooding inside my air-conditioned nest with the lights off (save for the TV since I don't miss a single episode of Maury), I heard noises outside. Noises of... youth. Youth selling lemonade.
Why had they picked MY corner?! They weren't on my property or anywhere too near my nest, but it was close enough! They were laughing, playing, and comercializing, completely ignorant of their being stalked by yours truly. Because I'm not normal, I wandered around the house for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. I couldn't just ignore them. I narrowed my options down to yelling at them like an elderly troll...
or inconspicuously walking my dog past them and donating some chump change to their cause.
I went for the latter (sans-trench coat and sunglasses) and I must admit I have no good explanation for why I was so tense. It turned out okay. They gave Wolfgang some love and thanked me for my donation. Maybe the next generation isn't so doomed, after all... Hey, if you were self-imprisoned in a house for about forty days (seventy years in unemployed time), you'd be just as strange.