I'm writing for the first time in months because this story is far too good for me to pass up.
Finally through with the semester, you're safe to assume I've spent all day lazing about. I've even managed to run out of snackables, which is tragic, considering food is a source of supplemental entertainment for me.
Today was marked by stretching to the absolute limit of passing time just... because... I had to. While on my 4th hour of watching online show re-runs, something out of the corner of my screen-affixed eyes caught my attention: my mother stood in the dining room, with a box.
This was not very extraordinary. Boxes are relatively common to receive at houses wherein the residents shop online or have generous relatives during the holidays. But what WAS extraordinary was my mother's hesitance to open it.
Emitting various "Hmm!"s and "huh"s, I found upon further inquiry that while the address was 100% ours, the names attached were NOT ours. My mother is no more a "Laurence" than I am. What's more, it was from a Judy and a Cliff, with love - I kid you not when I say I have never even MET a Judy nor a Cliff, let alone in combination. And I certainly expect no love from them.
My mother, being honorable and moral, called the company that sent it - a holiday gift-basket type company, y'know, the kind that sends fruits and nuts - and after a good ten minutes on the phone with a representative, they came up with only one solution: ENJOY IT. That's right. There was no return address or number to contact. It was ours.
Overwhelmed with the glee of impending free edibles, I expected my mother to open it. The box even SAID "Open Immediately". But my mother refused on the grounds of the upcoming dinnertime and - more likely - maternal rights to torture. Luckily my aggressive older sister caught word of the free package and ripped into it before my mother even knew she was in the house.
And more miraculous than receiving it was its contents: AN ENORMOUS BASKET OF COOKIES.
It's a Decemberous Miracle for me, my family, and my sweet-teeth! There's enough even for it to last until my twin sister gets home at the end of the week (maybeeee...)!
Now some of you reading this might be sitting there, thinking. "How horrible! That belongs to somebody else and you know it!" "That's it? You're not going to look into this further?" "Have you no guilt? Have you no SOUL?"
All I can say is that while I may be lacking a conscience or maybe even a human soul, I do not lack one thing: cookies.