As you may have inferred from the title, my laptop is broken.
And I don't mean broken like I'm dumb and it's slow cuz, being dumb, I download everything I click on. I don't even mean it's broken like hyper-virus infection broken (though there have been those moments).
When I say "broken", I mean my laptop and life source for the past three years is Schwarzenegger-as-Terminator, shot-up-and-falling-apart broken.
Not even duct tape can rescue it at this point. It's become so unholy as to resist the duct tape. It RESISTS the duct tape! What kind of evil machine can - WOULD - do such a thing?!
A laptop past its warranty is apparently its own free agent. If it tries to kill me, I may just have to put it down.
OH GOD IT KNOWS I'M TYPING THIS. AUUGHH---