Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Social experiment of sorts

For no reason whatsoever I guess I ran a small social experiment.  Baldwin Dining hall is at its busiest around noon and it's not hard to get away with a wide range of frowned-upon tasks.  So while standing beside some friends of mine in line I was casually dared to nab a rather large bulk bag of unnamed foodish-type material.  I played with them jokingly, scootching a step or two away from the line.

I surveyed the area only to notice how very opportune the moment was: all dining hall managers were busy and the lunch ladies buffet supervisors had ducked back into the kitchen.  The way was clear.  A quick dash was all it would take and the bulk stuff would be mine!

It was super difficult because one goaded me on while the other pleaded she was just kidding and I shouldn't go through with it.  But it was too late.  THE CHALLENGE HAD BEEN ACCEPTED!  What a final stand against Bangs, to swipe such a massive amount of packaged continental fodder!

I crouched, dashed, snatched, and booked it back towards my seat, arms quite visibly full of a food bag.  Naturally our table was located towards the northmost part of the dining hall and the buffet due south.  The entire midsection of Baldwin saw me wildly sprinting with the contraband. I never felt so alive.

My friends were not amused.  They were mad, even.  They confronted me as if they were accessories to murder.  But it was way too late to put it back!  It was then we concocted this social experiment: if I was caught, I'd return it.  If somebody turned me in, well, there's some sort of good(y-two-shoes)ness in society and I'd suffer the consequences.  And if I wasn't caught or turned in, it would be my prize.  Shoot, even if I WAS caught, I could probably get away scot-free if I make up some excuse about running a social experiment.  I bet if I threw a professor's name in there I'd be totally fine.

Regardless, nothing at all happened by way of punishment.  I got away with it and have heard nothing since except the crunch n munch of the apprehended food in my teeth.  I guess my act was just too bold for society to stand against.  Is that a thing?  Sometimes some acts are too random for one to consider to stop even if they're kinda wrong?  I push that kinda limit all the time, and never once have I been called out for it.  I've thought for a long time that it has to do with my seemingly innocent appearance.  Passers-by misjudge my harmless visage greatly.

What was it that I happened to nab? Well, I'm not at the liberty to tell you, but let's just say I think my life is rather charmed.  I am such a lucky person

P.S. this marks a grand victory over Bangs.  For those keeping score, I'm winning.

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